You May Get Nervous Or Not Enjoy Sex Right Away - And That's OK

What About LGBTQ+ Sex?

The lack of heteronormative scripts applies to sex, too. According to sex and relationship coach Rachel Rose, “This is the absolute best part about queer sex - it works however the people involved want it to. There's far [fewer] expectations or examples of what queer sex ‘should' look like, so the conversations about who's into what tend to be more built-in. ”

Again, this uncertainty is a good thing. It's normal not to know exactly what you want sex to look or feel like. In fact, I've heard from countless coaching clients that they're afraid of entering a sexual situation without knowing what to do. But knowing what to do was always an illusion. The skills you need for good sex are communication-based, like active listening and empathy. And as always, trust your gut.

As long as everyone involved is into it, [sex] can be whatever you want it to be

One of the most misleading ideas about LGBTQ+ sex is that if you're playing with someone who has the same body parts you do, you'll automatically know how they like to be touched. But everybody is different and there are no universal preferences. So no matter the gender or genitals of the person you're going to play with, it's important to talk to them about what they enjoy long before clothes start to come off.